I Thought I Was Really Clever … Now My Wife is FURIOUS

Hi Scott,

I thought I was really clever when I started buying silver and gold about nine months ago. I bought the silver outright and the gold through a saver account with a reputable dealer. I’ve ferreted away a few grand and put $13,000 against our home loan – which had zero owing before I did this. I’ve put in $17,000, and our silver and gold is now worth about $30,000. I told my wife earlier this week and showed her the physical gold and silver. She was ropeable.

Before you say I should have included her: I’ve tried Barefoot Date Nights but she’s never shown any interest, too busy with kids, etc. Everything gets paid and she has enough money for groceries, nights out with the girls, and whatever she wants. But she’s furious. I thought she’d be rapt that I did something smart. 

Now she doesn’t want to hear about it. I want to double down and buy more, but she won’t even comment. We have a $200,000 investment loan for ETFs which has done nothing for two years – only up about $8,000. What should I do? Sell enough to clear the $13,000? Hold the silver? Sell the ETF and buy heaps more silver? Change my super to an SMSF and buy gold?

Ben

Dude,

Dude.

Duuuuude.

Your wife isn’t furious about the shiny metals.

She’s furious because you went behind her back and pulled $13,000 from the family home loan without telling her. Then you unveiled it like a kid at show-and-tell who’d found $10 in a carpark.

You didn’t include her – but you expected applause?

Truthfully?

You got lucky. Gold has had an incredible run. And now you’re asking whether to double down, drain the ETFs and restructure your super … while your wife won’t talk to you.

That’s your answer right there.

The investment question is easy. The marriage question is the one you’re ignoring. So, book the Barefoot Date Night. Not to explain silver … to actually listen to her.

Because right now you’ve got $30,000 in precious metals and a wife who doesn’t trust you.

I know which one I’d rather have.

My view?

Sell the metals. Clear the home loan. Then have the conversation you should have had nine months ago.

My Teenage Son Thinks I’m Stupid

Hi Scott,

My 17-year-old son says I’m holding him back because I won’t let him access $1,000 of the money we have saved for him, to invest on something called BloFin. When I ask where he got this idea, he says “people”. I ask who – real people? – but I never get a straight answer. I’ve told him that if he’s that keen to invest then he can get a school holiday job and risk that money instead. That’s when I’m accused of being old-fashioned and not understanding investing. He might be right, I don’t understand crypto-style platforms. But I do understand working, saving, and not gambling money at 17. The digital world moves fast, and I know I’m behind. I don’t even trust what I read online anymore. Am I being overcautious? Or are these online trading platforms something parents should be deeply wary of? How do you guide a teenage boy who thinks the internet knows more than his mum?

Chloe

Hi Chloe,

Your son is right about one thing: you don’t understand investing.

What you do understand is that losing money hurts a lot more when you’ve earned it.

He’s 17. He’s bulletproof. He could lose the entire $1,000 and still not admit you were right.

That comes with the ability to grow sideburns.

Here’s my advice: let him lose it.

I know that sounds crazy. Hear me out.

When I was younger than your son, my first investment was something called a “special situations” managed fund. I’m fairly sure “special situations” was code for “whatever the fund felt  like betting on”.

The fund had ridiculously high past returns.

Which of course was exactly why I invested in it.

Guess what happened?

The special situations became extenuating situations. Then terrible situations. Then “where did all my money go?” situations. (I think they were big into emus at one stage.)

I lost most of my money, and it turned out to be one of my best investments. It taught me more about risk, hype and human nature than any book, podcast or online ‘expert’ ever could.

So here’s what I’d do:

Tell him he can invest the $1,000 in BloFin – but I agree with you, only if he earns it first with a school holiday job. If he won’t work for it, he doesn’t get to risk it. Simple.

If he earns it and loses it? That’s an expensive lesson.

But it’s a cheap one compared to what he’ll lose later in life if he never learns it.

The goal isn’t to protect your kids from making mistakes … it’s to make sure the mistakes happen while the stakes are still small!

Help! My In-laws Are Conspiracy Theory Cookers

Dear Scott,

My conspiracy theorist parents-in-laws are offering my husband and me $3,000 – but only if we invest it in silver. We live week to week, so this is serious money. They even sat us down to set up an ABC Bullion account. Silver will make us and them rich, apparently (they’re almost 70 and have never been smart with money). If we do what they say, they’ve also promised to enrol our two-year-old son in a prestigious Sydney boarding school where three generations of the family have gone.

The problem is I don’t want cooker investments. And I don’t want my son shipped off to boarding school four hours away! He’s TWO! We can’t afford decades of debt. And our three daughters get nothing because they’re not boys. Both sets of parents bankrupted themselves on school fees and had nothing for retirement. I won’t repeat that. But my husband won’t cross his parents. How do I make him see this is madness?

Linda

Hey Linda, 

They may be crazy, but they’re also cunning.

In fact, I think your in-laws are about to make the trade of a lifetime: 

But it ain’t silver ... that three grand they’re ‘giving’ you will buy them a say over your kids. And if you take it, you’ve agreed (silently) that they get a say: 

In your investments.

In your two-year-old son’s schooling. 

In the messages you send to your girls about their self-worth. 

And they’re getting all that for, what, three grand? 

In the wise words of the Brown Wiggle, “Bugger that”.

Look, if I were you, I wouldn’t waste energy trying to convert the in-laws. You won’t. People who mistake their silverware for a portfolio rarely change their minds over pavlova. 

This conversation belongs with your husband. 

But a word of warning: if you go after his parents you’ll push him straight into their corner.

So instead simply ask him: 

“Both our parents bankrupted themselves on school fees and dud investments. Are we going to continue that tradition, or are we doing something different?” 

Forget silver. It’s time for him to show some steel.

How Do I Avoid Going to Prison for my Brother?

Scott,

For twenty years, my brother has asked me to buy gold for him from the Perth Mint. He lives overseas and mistrusts banks, governments, and anyone who enjoys paperwork. So I bought gold for him. Three thousand here. Six thousand there. Over time, this turned into around $100k of gold in my garage. Gold prices are now up, and suddenly my brother wants to sell.

Technically it's his gold and his money, but legally it looks like mine. The Perth Mint receipts are in my name and the gold has been living rent-free next to my lawn mower for decades. When I investigate selling it, I discover capital gains tax and AUSTRAC reporting. Neither appeal to me as a regular mum with zero interest in explaining myself to government departments.

My brother, unfazed, proposes a solution after consulting ChatGPT: Post the gold in $10k parcels to Ainslie Bullion, include a Binance Bitcoin QR code, he gets paid in Bitcoin. Presto, no tax, no problems. I would prefer not to feature in a tax audit or a future true-crime podcast titled "The Garage Bullion Affair." My brother is not a criminal, but he thinks he's very clever.

What's the least painful solution?

Lisa

Hi Lisa,

I’m a brother, and I do annoying things to my big sister … yet the most annoying thing I’ve stored in her garage is an old spa bath.

Yet your bro’s plan has more leaks than my hot tub ever had. It opens you up to the risk of an Australian Taxation Office audit or a call from the coppers.

Here are three leak that I can sees:

First, deliberately splitting a large sale into $10,000 parcels to avoid AUSTRAC reporting is called structuring, and it’s a crime.

Second, for any bullion sale over $5,000, dealers are legally required to verify your ID.

Third, Bitcoin isn’t invisible. The ATO tracks crypto exchanges, and the digital trail is as permanent as a bank transfer.

What would I do?

I’d get a statutory declaration from your brother stating he’s the beneficial owner and you were only acting as his agent. Then sell the gold through a reputable dealer. Show the declaration to your accountant and let them work out who pays the tax. 

Your brother can ChatGPT his way to the clink, but you don’t want any skeletons in your garage.

Your Son Has a Car Crash? Good.

Hi Scott,

Our 20-year-old son let his car insurance lapse. Then he had an accident. His car hit two other vehicles. Now both insurers are chasing him for nearly $30,000 (plus he still needs to repair his own car). He's a part-time student working at Woolies with barely any income.  What would you say if this were your son?

Kelly

Hi Kelly,

If it were my son?

I’d ask him, “what’s your plan to fix the mess you’ve created?”

Hint: the correct answer to that question is:

“I’ve gathered up all the paperwork from the insurers, I’ve called the National Debt Helpline on 1 800 007 007, and I’m sitting down with a financial counsellor to work through my options”.

Another hint: don’t make the call for him. Don’t go to the meeting with him. Let him sort it out.

If he sits across from a financial counsellor like me, here’s the likely outcome:

He has no assets, and no capacity to repay the debt. So the insurer will likely waive the debt, or put him on a small payment plan for 12 months, and eventually waive the debt.

Final hint: don’t tell him that. Let him work it out for himself, and live with the ramifications of being a financial five year old.

Help! I’ve Ruined My Husband’s Life

Hi Scott,

I'm overwhelmed, emotional and don't have any closer friends I can speak to or confide in. My husband and I recently brought a new house but the loan is eating up most of my pay. (He loves cars and we have 4 at the moment, but only use 2 at any time!) My husband said to me yesterday that he hates his life and that he hates never going on holidays and having fun like everyone else.  He's intimated that he's had a dreadful life since he's met me, and to be fair that's not wrong. And to top it off, I'm just recently pregnant. Please help.

Sandra

Sandra,

This isn't a money problem. This is your husband telling his pregnant wife that she's ruined his life … while he parks four cars in the driveway.

You're building a nest. He's building a hot wheels collection. And now he's blaming you for the fact that his choices have consequences. It sounds like you’ll soon have two babies to look after.

Here's what needs to happen:

You both sit down and have an honest conversation about what actually matters now. You will soon have a baby. You want them to grow up safe and secure, without the two of you fighting and stressing about money.

Tell him: "Here's what's important to me: Our baby. Our family. And not living under constant financial pressure."

Then be specific: "We need to sell at least two of these cars. We need a budget that doesn't eat my entire pay. And we need to stop pretending we can afford a lifestyle we can't."

Sandra, this must be incredibly stressful. The natural reaction is to sweep this under the rug and hope it gets better. Don't do that. 

Given you don't have close friends to confide in, I want you to reach out to a financial counsellor (1800 007 007). You need someone in your corner. In time, hopefully this will include your husband, but for now, you're in crisis and you need support and quickly. You need this sorted well before the baby comes.

Scott

If You Could See Me Now

Hi Scott,

Ten years ago I was a 40-year-old woman leaving a violent relationship and facing $50,000 of debt that my ex had taken out in my name. I thought bankruptcy was my only option. Then my sister handed me your book. As I started reading, something clicked – a light came on – and I began working my way through the mess. During that time, I changed jobs and slowly paid off the debt. At the same time, I managed to save enough for a house deposit. I bought my first home and, using your principles, I’ve continued to put every pay rise and promotion toward my mortgage. This week, I’ll be making my final payment; my mortgage will be completely paid off! I couldn’t have done it without The Barefoot Investor. Thank you for helping me turn my life around.

Katy

Hey Katy,

That’s an incredible story.

You’re not the same person who picked up that book.

In order to achieve what you’ve achieved, you’ve had to become a new person. And that isn’t easy. But you’ve done it.

There are lots of people reading this right now who are in the situation you were in, and don’t believe they can do it. 

You’re testament to the fact that it can be done.

Should I Tell My Kids How Much I Earn?

Scott,

I need a second opinion on a years-long family dispute. My husband and I have three high schoolers who keep demanding to know our salaries. I’m all for teaching kids about money early, but we’ve always considered our earnings private – not something to share with friends or family. I also worry about the assumptions they’ll make: that salary equals lifestyle, or that our numbers will either discourage or mislead them when choosing careers. What’s your take? Should we tell our kids how much we earn? 

Kathryn

Hi Kathryn,

Well, you can do what you want with your kids, but for me … it’s a HELL NO.

One day my eldest was noodling about on his calculator when he point blank asked me:

“Dad, you’ve sold three million books, right? How much does each copy sell for?”

I just stared at him.

“Not as much as you think, mate.”

Look, the problem with telling kids how much money you make is that they have zero context about how much it costs to live as a grown-up. Even for your teenagers, their financial frame of reference is $4 vapes and $14 an hour flipping burgers.

A hundred grand a year may as well be Scrooge McDuck swimming in your coin pool to them.

My view? It’s none of their business how much money you earn.

Yet what’s critical is that they watch you modelling good money behaviours.

How do you do that?

First, you give them context. Hand them their financial L-plates and let them sit in on bill paying and some spending decisions. Maybe put them in charge of monitoring the electricity bill and shopping around for a better deal.

It also means you don’t lie to them. If you’re wealthy, don’t say “I can't afford that”. The kids will see right through it, especially if they see you spending money on other stuff.

Instead say, “I don’t want to spend my money on that”.

That sends a powerful message: you choose where your money goes, and it’s YOUR money, not theirs.

Having their own pocket money helps here. With my kids I explain that their Jam Jars are like my bank accounts – neither has an endless supply. If they really truly want something, they can do what you did: work hard, save up, and buy it themselves.

Finally, in terms of choosing their careers, I tell my kids all the time:

I’ve had a huge element of luck in my career. It’s not normal to sell so many books. There are plenty of more talented writers who haven’t been so lucky. However, they also know that I still turn up and enjoy my work even though most of the time I’m not getting paid. That’s how you know you’ve found the right career.

Your job isn’t to give them a salary target to aim for, it’s to help them find work that matters to them.

Scott

The worst question

I woke up at 4:30am and stumbled to the kitchen. 

Through sleepy eyes, I spotted a handwritten note on the fridge from my eldest son: 

"Why are you doing this to me? The pain is unbearable! And for what!?"

He’d just been fitted for braces and was evidently having a hard time breaking up with popcorn.

Now, we live in the country, so I thought we’d get country prices. Wrong. Ten grand. That’s what it cost us. That’s more than I spent on my first three cars combined! And yet they were the same tram tracks that kids had in the 80s, just ten times the ticket price!

Look, I’m no tooth fairy, but it looks simple enough: thirty cents of wire, a few dobs of Supa Glue, and a tiny ratchet they tighten monthly. My fencer could probably do it (though at $150 an hour it’d cost the same anyway).

I was having a bad week.

Yet it was about to get worse.

That morning I received a very serious email about last week’s column. I’d written about MoneyMe, a tadpole lender that looked at a couple spending $92,000 on a wedding and thought, “This is perfect marketing material”. Ribbit! They were so angry they cc’d all my bosses at the newspaper.

BAM! 

They demanded that their branding be taken off social media mentions, and included an itemised list of things they wanted “corrected” for the record.

(Oh for godsakes. I felt like I was in the dentist’s chair. Someone give me some happy gas!)

“We’ll make a couple of tweaks”, said my editor.

“Fair enough”, I said.

“... but there’s nothing to stop me writing about them again this week”, I thought to myself. 

“They’ll love that.”

That night, as my son slurped his soup, he looked as miserable as me. 

Here’s what I told him:

“Mate, I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but some pain is actuallly worth it.”

And so is calling out financial products that trap people in unnecessary debt, even if it means angry emails. Because, unlike braces, bad financial decisions don’t come off in two years. They can wire your life shut for a decade.

Tread Your Own Path!

Abusive Mum Dies, With One Last Trick

Hi Scott,

I’m in a pickle. My brother and I are close, and we stopped talking to our Mum about 7 years ago after years of pretty severe abuse by her. We heard about 2 years ago she had an incurable disease, and just found out that she has now passed away.

The issue is, our Mum met a man a few weeks before being diagnosed and then married him. We don’t know this man, but he will be the sole beneficiary of everything she has, including a house she inherited from our late grandmother, also after our Mum was diagnosed.

My brother and I don’t think it’s right that this man gets everything - we never wanted to stop speaking to our Mum, but unfortunately that’s how life went. And I know - we already wiped our hands clean of her years ago, and could do the same with her assets. But it just doesn’t feel right. Where do we even begin?

Casey

Hi Casey,

I'm sorry you're going through this. You should listen to your gut. This timeline has more red flags than a Chinese Embassy. Let me tick them off: Mum meets man. Gets an incurable diagnosis. Marries him. Inherits Grandma's house. Dies. Leaves everything to a stranger.

That's bonkers!

So I ran this past my lawyer, Dr Brett Davies from Legal Consolidated. 

Here's what you can challenge:

First, the will could be dodgy: Did she have mental capacity while battling disease? Was she unduly influenced by this bloke? Courts can bin dodgy wills.

Second, the will could be unfair. Even if valid, you can argue for adequate provision. Courts say parents have a moral duty to provide for their kids, regardless of relationship.

Finally, the sleeper issue is your grandmother’s house. Get your grandmother’s will immediately. She may have only given your mum a life interest, the right to live there, not own it. If so, it automatically comes to you and your brother, not this stranger.

So here’s what I want you to do: get both wills, the marriage certificate, and title deeds. Find a deceased estate litigation lawyer through your state’s Law Society (you need courtroom brawlers, not gentlemanly will-writers). You've got six to 12 months from death or probate. Miss it and your claim dies.

Honestly, these fights are expensive and ugly. Have a meeting with your lawyer, understand your position, then you and your brother can decide together.

You've already survived years of abuse. If this will consume the next two years of your life, you have every right to walk away. You don't need to fight her anymore. You're free.

Peace be with you.

Scott

My Dead Bros Debts

Dear Scott,

Three weeks ago, my younger brother died. He’d been living in an aged care home for mentally ill people run by St. Vincent’s hospital in Melbourne. Now they’ve sent me a bill for $12,000 in unpaid accommodation costs. I have never signed to take responsibility for him.  In fact his money affairs are handled by state trustees. As his elder sister, do I have to pay this debt?

Jenny

Hi Jenny,

I’m really sorry for your loss.

That’s junk mail: you are not liable for your brother’s debts.

Forward it on to the State Trustees, who can pay it if there is any money in his estate.

If there’s not, it will be written off.

Scott

Trust Fund Kids Blow Up

Scott,

I’m 72 and have had hard-won success in business. I’ve got four adult kids aged between 23 and 35. They’ll inherit around $80 million when I die, but none of them are serious about money. My son lost $100,000+ on crypto. My eldest has been in and out of rehab. My daughter wants me to fund a fashion label, despite having zero business experience.

I love my kids, but I was too busy making money. I thought they’d learn through osmosis. Clearly not. I don’t want to rule from the grave, but I’m terrified they’ll blow it all within a few years of me being gone. Yet, if they could be convinced, they could grow the pie and live off it forever. My question is, should I hand it over to advisors to work with them now?

Anonymous

Hi Anonymous,

If you hand it to advisors to manage, there’s a good chance they’ll be sacked the day after your funeral. I’ve seen it happen. Your kids will fire their financial babysitter the first chance they get.

They’re like lotto winners. What they really need to learn is how to keep the money they didn’t earn, and that’s a skill very few trust fund kids ever master.

Take Cornelius Vanderbilt. In the 1800s he built one of the world’s great fortunes, worth roughly $200 billion in today’s money, and warned his kids not to blow it. Within a few generations they’d built mansions bigger than hotels and couldn’t afford the plumbing bills. By their 1973 family reunion, not one was even a millionaire.

That’s the curse of unearned wealth. It doesn’t just get spent badly, it often destroys the people who inherit it.

I don’t know your kids. Maybe your daughter will build the next Zimmermann, and maybe your son has learned his crypto lesson. But history says the odds aren’t good.

So here’s what I’d do.

I’d buy each child a modest home, say up to $1.25 million including stamps. That gives them security, but they still have to get out of bed to pay the rates. That’s $5 million total, which is life changing, but not life ruining.

Then I’d make your real legacy the next decade. Spend time mentoring them. Get them involved in your business, fund their study, have them run small charitable projects, maybe even that fashion label, but with you watching closely.

After that, leave the rest to a cause you care about. You could involve your kids in it, but tread carefully. I’ve met plenty of trust fund kids who resent giving away what they see as their money.

Warren Buffett put it best: “A very rich person should leave his kids enough to do anything, but not enough to do nothing.”

The hardest financial lesson for your kids isn’t learning about compound interest. It’s that choices have consequences. And that’s a lesson money can’t buy.

Scott

Buy Me a Pony

I knew this day was coming … and yet I still wasn't prepared.

“Daddy, I really, really want a pony”, said my seven-year-old, batting her eyelids at me, a mirror image of my wife.

“There is absolutely NO WAY we are getting a glorified Gucci goat!” I said confidently to myself.

However, for some strange reason I heard myself saying, “Orr-right, let’s have a look on Gumtree”.

After all, we have sheep, cattle, alpacas, chooks, cats, dogs, and four kids — what’s the harm in adding a wombat on stilts to the mix?

The first listing was a Shetland pony named Trixie. The price? “Free to a good home.”

That was the first red flag.

Trixie looked a lot like Grandad after two horsey laps around the lounge with my four-year-old on top.

When I told my personal assistant Kathryn about my daughter’s pony project, she squealed with delight.

Kathryn is a ‘horsey person’. Whenever I ask her about her weekend, she invariably talks about her show pony, which (as far as I can tell) is like toddlers in tiaras but with horses.

However, her smile quickly faded when I showed her Trixie.

“A good pony will cost you $10,000”, she said, screwing up her nose.

“Well, that's not so …”, I began.

“Plus you’ll need to spend around $1,500 a year on pellets and lucerne. You’ll also need a farrier to trim its feet every six weeks, plus an annual teeth check, vaccines, wormers – let's call it $2,500 a year.”

“Okay, but if we just …”, I tried.

“... and you'll need a saddle, a bridle, and of course a horse float to drive it to the pony club. But these are all things you can get on Gumtree … allow, say, $10,000.”

“This is soooo exciting, boss!" she said, clapping her hands and beaming.

“Yes it is, Kathryn!” I replied, watching my wallet gallop off into the sunset.

And that’s when I had a thought that made me feel like I’d dodged a kick in the goolies from Trixie: 

Instead of dropping $25,000 on a commitment that eats, poops, and needs its teeth filed (heck, I already have four kids), I’ll hire Kathryn's pony for my daughter to ride any weekend she wants, for $100 a trot.

My daughter gets her pony fix, Kathryn earns some extra hay money, and I don't have to explain to my accountant why ‘pony maintenance’ is now a line item in our budget.

Win-win.

Giddyup!

Tread Your Own Path!

Old Dog, Bad Tricks

Hi Scott,

My dear mum turned 70 last year and is in a concerning situation. Dad has always been frugal, but I have just found out he has put Mum in a really tight spot. She can’t claim the pension because Dad is still working and earning well. So she’s dipping into her superannuation for everyday expenses like fuel and groceries. Apart from paying some household bills, Dad contributes nothing. They own a paid-off house by the beach. 

Mum worked for over 40 years, took time off to raise us three kids, and worked part time to support us. Mum can’t enjoy her retirement because she’s paying for living expenses from her dwindling super while her employed husband contributes nothing. If Dad loves Mum, why aren’t they sharing an equal pot of money? Do they need financial counselling or couples counselling?

Sue-Ellen

Hi Sue-Ellen,

Your dad isn’t being frugal – he’s being a total prick.

Your mum raised a family, worked for decades and, like so many women her age, ended up with bugger-all super. Now, at 70, she’s using what little she has left just to buy groceries, while your dad keeps working and pockets every cent for himself.

That’s not right.

Sue-Ellen, this is about your old man using money to control your mum. And the fact that it’s been this way for decades doesn’t excuse it … it actually shows just how deep the pattern runs with these two.

But here’s the tricky part: if you confront him, at best he’ll probably tell you to butt out. At worst, he’ll get his back up and dig in harder, and you’ll have strained your relationship with him.

So you need to be smart about this.

Your mum doesn’t need a financial counsellor (well, not yet at least). She needs to encourage him to go with her and see a couples counsellor, someone who can help put this dynamic on the table and gently call it what it is:

Coercive control, which is another name for financial abuse.

Scott

Our First Marital Spat

Hey Barefoot!

My husband and I have had our first marital spat. Ironically, over whether to insure my engagement ring. He knows that I’m pretty hopeless with my belongings, but now after four years of not losing it I've made a case to reallocate the $550 annual insurance fee elsewhere. Please mediate and help us decide whether to insure or not to insure!

Sarah

Hi Sarah

You’re insuring a ring for $550 a year?  

It must have so many carrots the Easter Bunny has put it on his wish list.

Now I’m sure you understand this, but you’re fighting about something that is purely emotional. It’s not logical to wear the price of a second-hand HiLux on your finger ... but hey, no judgement.  

Welcome to marriage!

Most home and contents insurance policies already cover your ring – but only up to a certain amount, often just $1,000. If your rock’s worth more (say, $10,000), you’ll need to specify it on your policy and cough up for the higher premium. That means getting a valuation certificate and jumping through a few hoops. It sounds like that’s what you’ve done.

Now, let’s get practical.  

If you rarely take the ring off, and don’t live in Purf, there’s a very good chance you’ll never lose it.

However, let’s look at the worst case scenario and you do lose it.

You’ll feel terrible. Your husband will be angry (and he’ll very likely use it as ‘exhibit A’ in any future fights you have).

Will you rush out and buy the exact same ring? 

Maybe. 

Will replacing it make you feel better? 

I don’t think so. That’s a sunk cost – both financial and emotional.

My advice? 

Save the insurance money. Instead, each year spend that money on booking a cheeky Airbnb, share a bottle of red, and toast to a lab-grown diamond if the worst happens. Cheaper, shinier, and no ethical guilt. And remember: the size of the rock has nothing to do with the strength of your marriage. (But correctly stacking the dishwasher? That’s another story.)

Scott

Should I Marry a Kind Loser?

Scott,

I have my own company that’s worth a bit of money, and I own my own home and car. I earn $250,000 a year. However, I’ve been dating a guy for about two years who doesn’t have anything. He earns the minimum wage, can’t save, and is consistently struggling. Everyone I know keeps telling me to leave him. Yet he is the kindest soul and my best friend – he’s had a really rough upbringing and just keeps hitting bad luck. Still, I’m scared he is going to live off my back the rest of my life. I’m 30 now, and I want to get married. But should money be the deciding factor in this relationship?

Mary

Hi Mary

Let me be clear: I’m a finance guy, not a relationship coach.

To me, dating is like shopping at IKEA: everything looks cute and stylish under those soft Scandinavian lights. You stroll through the aisles, picturing how perfect it’ll be in your home.

Marriage is like dragging the flatpack home, realising the instructions make no sense, and discovering – halfway through assembly – that you’re missing three screws and the whole thing is lopsided.

Right now, your guy is that wobbly, half-built Billy bookcase – no savings, no financial stability, and no clear plan. Maybe he can pull himself together. Yet you’re not his Allen key, Mary. 

If he truly loves you, he’ll prove it. Hand him The Barefoot Investor and give him three months to get a better job, start saving, and show he’s serious about building a future with you. What if he can’t?

Well, you know what to do with wonky furniture that won’t stand up on its own – dump it on the nature strip and move on.

Scott

The Uncomfortable Wife

Hi Scott,

I own my home, have five of my own children still at home, and recently married a second time. My new husband does not want to combine our money or have the same accounts, and he wants to keep everything separate. He has no assets, savings or superannuation. He works on commission, and he is 10 years off retirement age. He contributes here and there, but l feel uncomfortable. Should l get a prenup now? 

Felicity

Hi Felicity,

This ain’t your first rodeo … so why are you acting like a rodeo clown?

You may think this guy is a puny pony, but he is every bit the bucking bronco:

He has no assets, no savings, no super, no reliable income … and no plan. 

My worry is that he’s likely to turn around one day and decide to launch you into the cheap seats. 

After all, he says he wants to keep money separate – yet he enjoys the use of your assets and doesn’t contribute consistently?

Easy, horsey!

It’s time you pull the reins in on this bloke and lovingly drive your spurs deep into his guts. 

Here’s how:

Book in to see a family lawyer today.  

Now, you can’t get a prenup after you’re married! So the legal document you need is a Binding Financial Agreement (BFA) – and you should absolutely get one. Also, update your will and estate plan to protect your kids. 

Felicity, you do not need permission to protect yourself and your kids. Enjoy the ride.

Scott.

My Mother Is Acting Like a Teenager

Hi Scott,

I’m nearly 18 and the only one bringing in money for my family. Mum’s been out of work for 17 years – tried a job but quit due to bullying. Dad pays minimal child support and, despite cutting costs, we’re drowning in bills. Mum ‘borrowed’ $1,700 from my savings, leaving me with $2,100, and now she and my sister want to start a clothing business. I’ve started a part-time job, but I feel pressured to cover our expenses. I get $200 a fortnight from Centrelink and I’m expecting a $20,000 injury payout that I wanted to invest. I love Mum, and she’s sacrificed so much, but I’m about to start uni and I have my own goals. How do I support my family without sacrificing my future?

Kelly

Hi Kelly

First of all, I just want to take a moment to recognise how awesome and mature you are: there are very few 18-year-olds who would have the insight and emotional intelligence to write me a letter like you’ve just done. 

Now it sounds like the roles are reversed in your household: your mum is acting like a teenager and you are playing the role of the responsible adult. That’s a lot to take on, but I have the sense that you’re up to the challenge, Kelly.

Here’s what I’d suggest.

First, protect that payout. A $20,000 windfall at your age is life-changing. Consider sticking it in a locked-off term deposit, or in a low-cost share index fund, where it’s out of reach but still growing. Whatever you do, don’t let guilt drain it away.

Second, sit down with your mum and lay out the hard truth: you’re going to uni, you’re not funding the household anymore, and she needs a real job, not a business gamble.

Finally, you’re about to start your adult life. Set up your Barefoot Buckets, save aggressively, and focus on uni. Helping isn’t giving your family money – it’s showing them what real financial responsibility looks like.

Good luck!

Scott.

My Boyfriend’s Addiction Has Cost Us $30,000

Dear Barefoot,

I’m 25, and I’m really worried about how much my partner has lost on cars. He loves them, and I used to love that too – until his latest purchase, a $30,000 sporty luxury car (bought with a personal loan), turned into a financial nightmare. Expensive insurance, high running costs, and a brutal commute wore it down, then the engine blew – costing us $9,000. We cut our losses, bought a more practical (but still fun) VW Golf, and listed the old car for sale, but no one’s biting. We’ve dropped the price below $19,000, but we’re getting lowballed, and I’m terrified we’ll lose close to $30,000 overall. To top it off, he thinks I should buy my own car because I can’t drive a manual. I love him but I feel so helpless. I’ve always been frugal, and seeing this much money vanish hurts. Can you please tell me it’s going to be okay? 

Heather

Hi Heather,

Your partner is acting like my four-year-old, who spends all his pocket money on Tonka trucks (though at least he pays with his pocket money, rather than taking out personal loans like your partner does).

Now there is something your petrolhead partner probably knows … that he isn’t telling you:

This is possibly the worst year to be selling a second-hand car. 

That’s because right now a flood of second-hand vehicles is overwhelming the market, with the Australian Automotive Dealer Association (AADA) reporting a surge in listings but a sharp drop in sales. Cars are currently sitting on the market for nearly 49 days, and the AADA says 2025 is shaping up to be a bloodbath for sellers.

So, what to do?

Well, I think it’s time for your little boy to pack up his toys. This car needs to go, yesterday. I don’t care what he ‘believes it’s worth’ – he clearly ain’t an expert, and it’s a rapidly depreciating hunk of metal. So, if I were in your shoes, I’d drop the price aggressively, sell it, and clear as much of that loan as possible. If he still owes money on the loan, he needs to work his backside off to cover the difference.

Finally, let’s talk about you for a second. You say you’re frugal, yet you’re watching your financial future get torched. You can’t build wealth when your partner is setting it on fire, Heather. 

So, on your next Date Night you need to sit down, lay out the numbers, and have a genuine conversation about the fact that one of your core values is financial security. If he’s not willing to change, you might need to consider a trade-in of your own.

Oh, and one last thing: he thinks you should buy a car? 

No. You should learn to drive a manual. Problem solved – at zero cost!

Scott.

My Brother-in-Law is a Parasite – Help!

Scott,

My brother-in-law has it sorted – he has a mail-order bride, kids, and he’s living rent-free with my mother-in-law. Every Christmas and birthday, they expect us to buy them top-tier Apple gear (we once got their 10-year-old a $2,000 iPad Pro). When we stopped funding their wishlist, he just blew his own money – then came to us for car repairs and other essentials. I gave him a copy of your book, thinking it would help. He promptly asked for $10,000 to ‘invest’ in the stockmarket, which he has now lost. Recently I offered to pay him to do some odd jobs for me on the weekend he refused. Sadly, ceasing contact with said brother-in-law is not an option due to cultural issues which promote familial harmony. Do you have any suggestions?

Emma

Hi Emma,

Oh yes, I have suggestions.

Look, parasites thrive on guilt and obligation – which of course is code for ‘family harmony’. He doesn’t want your help – he wants a handout.

My view?

You’ve got to make peace with the fact that saying ‘no’ doesn’t make you a bad person – it just makes you someone who refuses to be financially manipulated. In other words, it’s time to bust out the bum chocolate (or combantrin, that’s what my kids call it anyway).

So the next time he comes asking for money, tell him:

“We’re always here to support family, but real support means helping each other stand on our own two feet. We’re happy to offer opportunities, but not cash.”

Will that work?

Yes, if you stick to your guns. 

But beware: once he realises you’re no longer the easiest meal, he’ll move on to someone else in your family (good for you,  bad for them). Because that’s the thing about parasites: they don’t starve – they just find another host.

Scott.