Buy Me a Pony

I knew this day was coming … and yet I still wasn't prepared.

“Daddy, I really, really want a pony”, said my seven-year-old, batting her eyelids at me, a mirror image of my wife.

“There is absolutely NO WAY we are getting a glorified Gucci goat!” I said confidently to myself.

However, for some strange reason I heard myself saying, “Orr-right, let’s have a look on Gumtree”.

After all, we have sheep, cattle, alpacas, chooks, cats, dogs, and four kids — what’s the harm in adding a wombat on stilts to the mix?

The first listing was a Shetland pony named Trixie. The price? “Free to a good home.”

That was the first red flag.

Trixie looked a lot like Grandad after two horsey laps around the lounge with my four-year-old on top.

When I told my personal assistant Kathryn about my daughter’s pony project, she squealed with delight.

Kathryn is a ‘horsey person’. Whenever I ask her about her weekend, she invariably talks about her show pony, which (as far as I can tell) is like toddlers in tiaras but with horses.

However, her smile quickly faded when I showed her Trixie.

“A good pony will cost you $10,000”, she said, screwing up her nose.

“Well, that's not so …”, I began.

“Plus you’ll need to spend around $1,500 a year on pellets and lucerne. You’ll also need a farrier to trim its feet every six weeks, plus an annual teeth check, vaccines, wormers – let's call it $2,500 a year.”

“Okay, but if we just …”, I tried.

“... and you'll need a saddle, a bridle, and of course a horse float to drive it to the pony club. But these are all things you can get on Gumtree … allow, say, $10,000.”

“This is soooo exciting, boss!" she said, clapping her hands and beaming.

“Yes it is, Kathryn!” I replied, watching my wallet gallop off into the sunset.

And that’s when I had a thought that made me feel like I’d dodged a kick in the goolies from Trixie: 

Instead of dropping $25,000 on a commitment that eats, poops, and needs its teeth filed (heck, I already have four kids), I’ll hire Kathryn's pony for my daughter to ride any weekend she wants, for $100 a trot.

My daughter gets her pony fix, Kathryn earns some extra hay money, and I don't have to explain to my accountant why ‘pony maintenance’ is now a line item in our budget.

Win-win.

Giddyup!

Tread Your Own Path!

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