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I'm at WAR with My Mum’s Toy Boy
Scott,
Five years ago, my Mum, aged in her early 70s, went overseas and fell for a much younger man. After a period of long-distance dating, he finally moved here, and they got married
Scott,
Five years ago, my Mum, aged in her early 70s, went overseas and fell for a much younger man. After a period of long-distance dating, he finally moved here, and they got married.
Mum is telling me that she's sending $1000 a month back to his family as 'that is the tradition'?! Now, she tells me that when she goes, everything will go to said hubby. I don't know how much she has in Super and Savings and she's owned her house outright for over 10 years.
Am I being jealous, greedy and selfish or would I have a legal right as the only (‘flesh and blood’) child to continue the tradition of passing down to family, as I have 2 children, each of whom, will receive an equal share of my funds when I die.
I have a great relationship with Mum but we've never discussed wills and I've never pried into her accounts and affairs. As for her non-working, much younger husband, we clash, and he just seems to be sitting back almost rubbing his hands with glee. I'm torn as to what I can do.
Sia
Hi Sia,
I can see why the chicken might be a bit chewy at the family roast.
A much-younger unemployed bloke marries your 70-year-old mum, moves countries, scores a free house, sends money to his family, and lines up to inherit everything. All in the name of "tradition."
It's a tradition alright. Toy boys have been cashing in since Cleopatra hired her pool boy.
Here's the truth: you can't control your mum or force her to change her will. What you can do is write her a heartfelt letter explaining how this affects you as her daughter and your kids as her grandchildren.
But whatever you do, don't go to war with him. He's not stupid—he's landed the only job where being unemployed comes with a house and inheritance.
Sia, there's only one guaranteed way to lose: letting this wreck your relationship with your mum. If it doesn't go your way, refuse to let this stress bleed into your life. Instead, use it as fuel to build wealth for your own kids and model the legacy you wish you'd been part of.
Scott