My Son is a Disaster

Hi Scott,

My son is a disaster. Is this just a 'son' thing?

For his 18th birthday, I sacrificed the first car I’d ever owned so he could have freedom and independence. It was a great little car with full service records and a reliable mechanic. Five years later, he called it “a hunk of junk.” I said: “It wasn’t junk when I gave it to you.”

Now he’s over 30, buying his third cheap car, and heavily hinting about my old Mercedes (worth under $10k). He hasn’t asked outright, but the hints are constant. After years of ingratitude and fleeting thanks, there’s no way I’m handing it over. I’ve learned my lesson.

But here’s what hurts: I no longer feel joy in giving. I’m scared of being taken advantage of again. Teach your sons gratitude, Scott, or this pain will be yours too.

Lesley

Hey Lesley,

Is it a son thing?

Nah. It’s a human thing.

Here’s what I’ve learned: people don’t value what they haven’t earned. You gave him your beloved first car, filled with memories and sacrifice. To him, it was just… free. That stings. But it doesn’t mean he’s ungrateful about everything. It just means your giving needs boundaries.

About the Merc? Next time he hints, shut it down kindly but firmly:

“Mate, I’m keeping it. You’ll value your next car more if you buy it yourself.”

Don’t let his hints rob you of your joy in giving to others who appreciate it. The best things in life are earned – and that’s a lesson he still needs to learn.

Scott