Chop Wood, Carry Water

Dear Scott,
 
We confiscated our 14-year-old son’s phone over a year ago because he was misusing it. It’s been a long year of self-harm and reminding him he is supported and loved. It’s now time for him to get one again, primarily to check in with us when he’s away. So here’s the argument I’m having with my hubby: I want him to earn the phone – we have five acres of bush and I have the idea that he only needs to sell one bag of firewood a month to pay for a phone. My hubby says it isn’t worth the cost of petrol, chainsaw, and delivering the wood to customers. He just flat out says “no, it’s spending money to make money”.  He won’t be reasoned with at all. Help!

Linda

Hi Linda,
 
Your husband may not show it, but I’m sure he’s been worried sick about your son self-harming.
 
Any parent would.
 
So here’s how I’d approach it with your husband:
 
Ask him to think about how he’d feel as he watched your son start his own little firewood business.
 
Paint him a picture:
 
He’d be off the screens and out into the fresh air, doing some physically demanding work. He’d be smiling and interacting politely with his customers. And, most importantly, his confidence would soar as he earnt his own dough.
 
Personally, I think this could work out to be the best money you and your husband ever spent. However, if it makes him feel better, you could write an agreement with your son that he has to pay you a certain percentage of each sale to cover the costs.
 
I think if your husband could see your son making a go of it he’d beam with pride.
 
Any parent would.

Scott.