My Boyfriend Is Rich (and Black)

Scott,

My new boyfriend is very successful. He has a black Amex, which he says has an ‘unlimited’ balance (as in he could buy a house with it). I’m not sure if he’s joking. He says the points are insane, which bodes well for overseas trips in business class! 

Jess

Hi Jess,

I can picture this dude:

Strong cologne. Leased Mercedes. Blinding white choppers.

I am a very unimpressive person who pays with a debit card. However, I can dream.

So to answer your question I found myself, blinds drawn, googling what I call ‘penis cards’, AKA status rewards credit cards. That’s where I discovered your boy’s card. It’s the King Charles of credit cards: the American Express Centurion.

The wank factor is an 11 out of 10 straight out of the gate:

“Made of anodised titanium, it gives the card its distinctive metallic black finish. The Amex Centurion is not for everybody.”

Uh-huh.

You can only get one if you’re ‘invited’ by American Express.

And if you manage to score an invite?

There’s a $5,000 application fee. Get accepted? $6,500 a year.

Who on earth pays $11,500 for a credit card?

Tossers. 

Like your new boyfriend.

People who think that a woman will be impressed with consumer credit and blingy things.

Now, what about the points?

Well, I personally think that rewards points are so 2014. That was the year banks slashed the value of their rewards program in half (and they’ve been slashing them ever since).

Here’s what it actually looks like for the rest of us: You spend a year carefully putting every coffee, every tank of petrol, every everything on the card. You rack up points. You finally book that ‘free’ flight to Queensland. Then you sit down and do the maths – really do it – and realise you paid $395 in annual fees to earn a $420 flight.

You saved $25.

Congratulations. You earned $2 a month for being Qantas’s loyal little data stream.

And it’s getting worse.  As a result of the RBA clamping down on bank fees, the banks are slashing point values and jacking up credit card fees. 

But not quite as high as your boyfriend is paying – that dude is in a league of his own.