My Kids Are Spoilt Brats

Hi Scott,

My 10- and 12-year-old girls get $20 a week pocket money but are always broke from buying canteen food. Their lunchboxes come back full while they spend money on overpriced school food.

I’ve tried everything: threatening reality checks about Gaza, offering $20 to wash cars (crickets), asking them to clean rooms (ignored). The Barefoot Jamjars feel ‘so 1956’ with modern ungrateful kids. Modern kids need to see value for their effort almost daily. Traditional methods like car washing and dog walking don’t capture their attention anymore.

I’m even reducing their grapes by one for each grape that comes back uneaten, hoping they’ll eventually come home hungry and complain. What modern strategies actually work for teaching money and food values to entitled kids? Society says we can’t smack sense into them – so what’s the answer?

Dad of Spoiled Brats

Hi Dad,

Stop blaming your kids.

Seriously. If they’re spoilt brats, you’re the one who set up the conditions for them to rot.

The first line of your email answered your question:

You hand your kids $20 a week.

It’s not pocket money if they snub their noses at cleaning their rooms or doing anything for it …  it’s a princess payment!

You say “modern kids need to see value for their effort almost daily. Traditional methods like car washing and dog walking don’t capture their attention anymore”.

Yeah, nah. 

People don’t value money they don’t work for. You’re handing them cash, then getting annoyed because they don’t value it. The kids are acting perfectly normally.

Here’s what I’d do if I were in your dad running shoes:

Stop the handouts. Completely. Throw them a loaf of bread and some Vegemite and tell them to make their own school lunches. That’s what I do with my kids.

Then wait. 

Eventually they’ll want to buy something. That’s when you start the conversation about working for money – or, better yet, starting their own Barefoot business. It may take a while. That’s okay. Your job is to teach them that money comes from working.

Finally, let me leave you with this:

Nearly every parent worries their kids are spoilt brats. It’s natural – our kids are growing up with more than we ever had. But, if you treat them with respect and put the right boundaries and incentives in place, they may just surprise you.

Stop making excuses. Stop blaming your kids. Start being the parent they need – not the ATM they want!

Scott