The controlling husband
Picture this.
A car comes out of nowhere and hits you head-on. You don’t stand a chance. You die at the scene.
Two weeks later, your partner is slumped at the kitchen table, sobbing. They’re surrounded by unopened bills, funeral invoices, superannuation forms they don’t understand, and your locked phone buzzing with random Facebook messages from people you barely knew.
They’re grieving. Exhausted. Overwhelmed. And now they have to deal with all this … crap.
I’ve seen it happen over and over again. Someone dies unexpectedly, and their partner and/or kids are left scrambling – trying to find a will, bank accounts, funeral wishes. Some can’t even access enough money to pay for the funeral upfront.
Brutal. And completely avoidable.
So I want you to answer me this one simple question:
If you really love your family, would you leave them a mess like that?
That’s why I created what I call the Fearless Folder.
It’s a simple folder – digital or physical – that holds everything your family needs if you die unexpectedly.
Not just your will, but all the small but vital stuff that turns grief into hell if it’s missing:
Your will. Don’t have one? Get it done this month with a lawyer (not a will kit).
Powers of Attorney. So someone can act for you if you’re mentally or physically incapacitated.
Superannuation binding nominations. Your will doesn’t cover your super.
A list of bank accounts and investments.
Login details – email, bills, banking, social media – so your executor isn’t locked out.
Funeral instructions. Cremation or burial? Simple or elaborate? Write it down.
A final message. A short letter telling your family how much you love them.
Some keep their Fearless Folder in a fireproof safe at home, with a spare key given to their executor. Others set up a dedicated email address with everything scanned and stored securely, with instructions on how to access it.
Best practice?
Do both. Originals in a bolted safe. Scans in a dedicated estate email with two-factor authentication (via an app, rather than SMS). And tell your executor exactly where everything is.
Look, death is a morbid topic. But ignoring it won’t stop it from happening. It just turns your final act of love into an unintentional act of cruelty.
We spend hours planning a holiday. Weeks researching a car. Yet we won’t spend a couple of hours making sure the people we love most aren’t left sorting out a bureaucratic nightmare while grieving.
Now, picture this.
Your partner walks to your study, grabs a key from the top of your bookshelf, and unlocks your fireproof safe. They see a folder labelled: ‘Fearless Folder – Everything in One Place’.
They open it. The first page reads:
“I love you so much that I’ve prepared this for you. It has everything you need to manage my passing.”
They flick through it. Everything’s there. Then they read your final message … and the tears come.
That’s what real love looks like.
Tread Your Own Path!