Are you okay?
“Don’t make me stop this car!” I roared at the kids in the back. And then, for possibly the first time ever, I actually followed through.
I stopped the car. The kids froze.
I took a long breath, looked out the window, and noticed a half-boarded-up pizza joint.
“Let's get some pizza”, I said.
Inside, it was empty. No phones ringing. No music. Just a tired woman behind the counter with tattooed-on eyebrows, staring straight through me.
“One family-sized Margherita, please."
We sat at faux-wood tables while I flicked through a Woman’s Day magazine:
From October 1987.
The headlines were perfect:
“Take 2 inches off your hips in 2 weeks.”
“Which makeup colours make you prettier?”
“AIDS HYSTERIA: How much fear makes sense?”
Every second page was an ad for ciggies, or pictures of women in leotards smoking Alpine menthols.
The magazine smelled like the vinyl backseat of our old Ford Falcon. Warm. Faded. Casually sexist.
This week, an ANU study found nearly three in five Australians believe that life was better 50 years ago … and I was holding their evidence.
Okay, so let’s not pretend 1987 was all apricot chicken. HIV/AIDS was coming for everyone. The devil had slipped secret messages into AC/DC songs (if you played them backwards), and kids risked getting square eyes watching too much Scott and Charlene (ask your parents).
Yet flicking through those musty pages I was struck that there was nothing on side hustles, investment properties, or the hand-wringing of how your kids will ever afford a home.
Makes sense.
Back then a house cost about three times the average income. A family home was something you worked towards, and paid off – then set your sights on a shiny new Commodore.
Yet just as that magazine was hitting the printing presses … everything changed.
The share market crashed.
Interest rates rocketed to 17%. The economy did the Locomotion. Finance hit the front pages, and never left.
And then? Well, then came the biggest borrowing binge in history … and it’s still going strong 40 years on.
Houses now cost a staggering ten times the average income.
Every year we borrow more, we stress more, and we lie awake wondering how our kids will ever afford something as basic as a roof over their heads.
On paper we’re wealthier. But we’ve never been in more debt, or more stressed and depressed.
The pizza came. It was horrific. The kids looked at me. I looked at them, and said: “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.”
They had no choice but to eat what they were served. That’s how life works!
Tread Your Own Path!
Your Questions & Answers
My Husband’s $100,000 Gambling Debts
Is HESTA Super Going Broke?
Welfare Check: Are You Okay, Barefoot?
My Husband’s $100,000 Gambling Debts
Hi Scott,
Over the last four years I have paid nearly $100,000 dollars of my husband’s gambling debts. He still has $55,000 dollars to pay on a personal loan, and he says he needs $6,000 immediately to tide him over. He refuses to show me evidence of his transactions – I suspect he owes more than he is telling me. My salary goes into the offset account but he keeps his account separate. If I don’t pay his debts, he stops paying for groceries and stops contributing to the mortgage. I turn 50 this year. I am afraid for my emotional and financial wellbeing, and for that of our son. However, I don’t have the family or social support to separate immediately. I am trying to get my head around this situation without losing myself. I need to protect myself and my son financially while I work out what to do. I would really appreciate your help.
Sally
Hi Sally,
You must be absolutely exhausted.
Here’s the brutal truth: this isn’t over. It won’t stop until he puts his hand up and gets help. And even then it’s a long, hard road back through the financial wreckage this has caused.
You are dealing with a disease that is designed to take every cent it can get its hands on. I see the damage it causes every day.
My advice?
It’s time to be ruthless. For your son.
Do not pay another dollar towards your husband’s gambling debts.
Do not give him any money. Pay the bills yourself.
As long as you keep covering for him, this will continue.
Then, make two appointments. First, call a financial counsellor (National Debt Helpline: 1800 007 007) and get a plan in place to protect yourself. Second, see a family lawyer so you can understand your options.
Hope is not a strategy. You’ve carried this for four years. That has to stop. And it starts by getting the right people around you. Reach out to me this week, and I’ll help.
Is HESTA Super Going Broke?
Hi Scott,
I’m so mad at my super fund, HESTA, right now. I’m 44 and I’ve been with them for years. I have $250k with them, but I’m ready to jump ship after recent reports that their administrator (Grow Inc) has significant debt. Not to mention the argy-bargy HESTA put a lot of members through when they switched to said administrator last year.
I have no trust in their ability to safeguard and invest my super anymore. But I also found out that Vanguard Super also uses the same administrator, so I’m nervous about moving my funds just to land in the same pot of trouble. Am I being too hasty? Or has HESTA bollocksed it up enough to warrant a move?
Cheers,
Sash
Hi Sash,
Your money in HESTA is safe.
However, I’ll leave it to you to decide whether you want to put up with their half-arsed service (and why Vanguard recently decided to YOLO with Grow).
Could you imagine if the CEO of CommBank came out and said:
“In an effort to save us a bit of dough, we outsourced our entire customer administration process to a dinky little outfit … and it appears they’ve stuffed things up. So you won’t be able to access your bank accounts for the next seven weeks. Starting now.”
He’d be taco meat by Tuesday.
Well, that’s effectively what HESTA said (and did) last year!
My view?
Super funds have got their outsourcing completely arsed about:
They spend thousands of millions each year flying around the world first class trying (and failing) to pick winning investments. (This despite the fact that the evidence is unequivocal: they should outsource their investment decisions to a low-cost index, and return those thousands of millions of dollars to our accounts).
Yet they have outsourced the very thing that their customers need: reliable, safe and seamless access to their money! This explains why rolling over your super fund is harder than getting a council permit to build a shed.
It’s a total disgrace.
Welfare Check: Are You Okay, Barefoot?
Hey Scott, just wanted to check in. Haven't seen any newsletters or articles in the Herald Sun lately. RUOK? Missing your wise words.
Deb
Hi Deb,
Thank you for checking in ... and to the many readers who wrote asking the same thing.
I can confirm I am okay!
I've been writing this column for 23 years. When my first son was born, I asked my editors if I could take school holidays off to spend time with him. They reluctantly said yes.
Twelve years on, I'm still holding that boundary. In fact, it's even more important to me today. After all, I only have six more years with him at home.
That's wealth to me.
Thank you for reading.
Scott.