I changed my nightie for this?

The other day I was manning the sausage sizzle at my kids’ school with another dad, who’s a vegan.

“Don't worry”, I told him, “there’s no meat in these snags.”

He looked confused.

“Look at the label. The main ingredient is ‘meat product’. Could be anything. Eyeballs. Toenails. Band-aids that fall on the floor at the abattoir.”

True story: I worked at a butcher in high school. I haven’t touched a snag since. You don’t want to know what goes in them. 

It’s the same with Canberra.

This week the International Monetary Fund (IMF) warned that Labor’s 5% deposit scheme will push up house prices.

The Government’s response?

“But our modelling shows only a 0.6% price impact over six years.”

Six years.

Documents released under Freedom of Information (FOI) reveal that the Treasury didn’t model the short-term impact at all. Instead, they looked six years out and skipped what happens now.

Huh?

It’s like my kids telling me they’ve cleaned their room.

“But Daaaad, it’s spotless.”

From the doorway, sure.

Just don’t open the cupboards where everything’s been jammed in and the door won’t shut.

And we’re already seeing the cupboards bulge.

The price of properties under the scheme’s price cap are accelerating faster than the broader market.

Then there’s the risk.

Treasury has set aside $35.7 million to cover defaults under the scheme, but this week they admitted they may need to tip a few more wheelbarrows on the pile as interest rates climb.

So young Aussies are being sold a policy that’s 95% debt, 5% equity, and 100% vulnerable to rate rises.

When rates climb, these buyers get put through the meat grinder.

The IMF sees it. Treasury sees it.

Yet there’s Albo at the sausage sizzle, waving around his tongs: “You want a snag, kid? Get them while they’re hot. They’re just offcuts, eyeballs, and taxpayer guarantees!”

You’re better off renting than swallowing this.

Tread Your Own Path!