by Scott Pape - November 4th 2011
A six-foot-three bloke in a pink dress, ferocious blonde wig, and high heels – clutching a handbag and a beer – greeted me as I walked through the doors of the local watering hole.
And ‘she’ had sixteen mates.
I was back in Ouyen, the tiny Mallee town 450 kilometres north-west of Melbourne where I was born. Things sure had changed since I’d last dropped in for a frothy.
Actually I’d been asked to be a guest judge of ‘Miss’ Ouyen 2011 – a fundraiser for the local hospital, and part of the annual Farmers Festival, which culminates in the community coming together for the Ouyen Show.
Practically the entire town turned out for the Show, and what struck me was the genuine respect within the community for older people. All day, white-haired nannas worked the crowd dispensing kisses, hugs, smiles and supportive words to people whose families they’d known for generations.
I left Ouyen years ago for the bright lights of the big city. Yet during the day I got chatting to a woman who’d done the opposite, moving from Brisbane with her family. Over a vanilla slice she told me that, a couple of months after she and her kids arrived, her father came to visit and took his grandkids to the shops – only to be stopped numerous times by protective locals checking the children weren’t in ‘stranger danger’ from a man they’d never seen before.
Some people spend their whole lives trying to find this sort of community.
So what can us city slickers learn from Ouyen? Simply that big homes, big jobs and big debts create lots of work and plenty of stress, but don’t add much to our happiness.
And I’m not just being sentimental after too many beers at the Ouyen pub. Deakin University’s landmark Wellbeing Index research has found that our happiness is more leveraged to our relationships and community bonds than our bank balances.
Ouyen isn’t a high-income area – not many farming towns are. Yet its real wealth comes from the community, a shared sense of caring and belonging that many of us in the rat race chase, but rarely find.
Tread Your Own Path!
Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/georgiesharp/153500022/
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20 comments
Amen to that Scott! Love that you keep the real balance and connection between inner and outer wealth in your principles (foremost) and articles. Hoping this is always the case.
It is interesting you read your reflections as I had come to that conclusion a few years ago when young and ambitious and making decisions about my career path. I have often wondered what aspects of my journey let me to the understanding of where I find my happiness. I think having spent many years living in a variety of small towns has played a big part and for me Ouyen has also contributed as my mum’s family are based in Ouyen and I spent many of my childhood holidays there with my cousins! City slickers often don’t rate the contribution of small country towns, but they definately should be given their credit where it’s due!!!
Hi Scott
sense of community is just so fulfilling
I own a small shop in Paddington
Fiveways-I know a lot of the locals by name/also know my neighbours-please get to know your neighbours
I’m a country girl, living not very far from Ouyen, I know lots of local’s from the Ouyen area. It is such a wonderful community, and avoiding the Rat race, and the different way of life it brings with it, is exactly why I’m still hangin’ around here happily!
Aghh Scott you have just made me homesick..
I currently live in Canada, yet grew up in the small mallee township of Patchewollock (yep, just down the road).
I love it, and it will always be home to me.
What never ceases to amaze me about towns like Ouyen and Patche is that amazing community spirit that somehow, in this day and age, continues to thrive and keep on thriving.
I now live in a 18 floor apt building and there are 9 apt’s on my floor and yet, I do not know a single one of my neighbors!!.. Growing up on the farm in Patche I knew everyone (granted it’s not big), but we also knew everyone in the district and generally it was one way or another through sport!.
Yes, we have lost our school, our football team has re-merged under the ‘Ouyen United’ Banner, but the sense of community spirit is still there. Just a couple of weeks ago I received a facebook invite from a friend that still lives in Patche, inviting me to and Oaks day ladies day event that I’m sure no more than 10 women would have got together to organise. unfortunately for obvious reasons I couldn’t attend (I don’t think that a random flight home for one day really fits in the budget), but after talking with my Mum today, she said that they had at least 70 women there. Patche would have almost doubled in size yesterday…and it’s because of the support that the outlying communities give to each other. I do have to ask the question. How many city people would drive 30 minutes – 1 hour to enjoy an afternoon of fun? I’m not too sure that a lot would.
Like you, I love the mallee and when the time comes, I hope that I too, can raise a family in an amazing community that provides absolutely everything that we need.
We all need to get out there and practice that Aussie “G’Day” in the elevator!
So Scott, you feel it too – the real “wealth” the real sense of belonging when one returns to their roots in ouyen.
I also was born there, and grew up on a farm .Family members still farming today. I take an annual trip back, and always enjoy meeting up with folk who are genuinely interested in your welfare.So, unusual in todays day and age – Thanks
One of the reasons I chose to live in Queanbeyan, the town literally over the fence from ACT, was because it feels like a town, ie has a sense of community. I looked at suburbia, aka Canberra, and I saw newer houses but no-one seemed to know their neighbour.
Queanbeyan is known to Canberrian’s as “struggle town”, a name I find very amusing considering the average salary is above the national average, but in my books its far wealthier than its next door neighbour because its a community.
PS: I also joined the SES as there is no better way to feel like your part of the community as when you are giving to that community.
Thanks Scott. We, who are fortunate to live here, know all this, but it sure gives us a kick to see other people appreciate why we stay, instead of the too many negatives we all hear. Ouyen is a great community, as are many other similar towns.
Great succinct message. Cute little town Ouyen! It’s easy to lose focus as we get caught up in how much we make, which suburb and other comparisons, a la the book ‘Affluenza’. Thanks Scott.
On the flip side, imagine how persecuted dear ol grandad felt being accused by every second person of being a paedophile and a threat to his own grandkids. Would grandma be subjected to that kind of scrutiny? I know, I know, I am more suspicious of men I dont know being around my kids as well but even on Fathers Day when I was invited I didnt feel welcome at my kids school. I know its better to be safe than sorry because its protecting the kids but it doesnt make you feel any better when you are on the receiving end of the questions and stares just because you are a male and not there every day because you are normally at work. Otherwise great column and love your work!
Gidday Scott,
Spot on barefoot guru! My relatives come from Mildura, Broken Hill & Robinvale, and the sense of community sprit is like being wrapped in a warm blanket. Country folk have always had the best views on life.
Well said Scott, I went to Ouyen High school with your mother. I still return to Ouyen often because of family and the lifelong friends that I love to see.
Ouyen! best vanilla slices in the known universe.
Too true about real happiness and community connections, the RSL pictured is where our folks used to run after school programs a long time ago, Im sure the Oke st business sector must be very proud of you, keep up the great writing!
I love the Aussie country towns and the affordability and lifestyle that come with them. We live in an expensive coastal area and I can’t get my wife to realize how much easier life would be financially with a tree change. Dilemma!!
Strewth it seems everyone on here is from Ouyen. Maybe it used to be a much bigger town.
I feel left out being from Donald down the road.
Hi Scott, Given the changes to the passive income rules for children now, what is your suggestion for putting money away for their future? Without giving most of it back to Miss. Gillard as a Xmas bonus?
Hi Scott. The comments below and your article say it all. Country living is fantastic. We moved here 17 years ago and don’t look like leaving. Look forward to seeing you again in Ouyen to share a frothy. Cheers
This is a nice article, and I like that sense of community, I have that now and then when i connects with my deaf friends… I’m deaf, so I know what it feels like. But on the flip side, it can be very isolating if you disagree with some views and so on… but it’s best to agree to disagree and remains as friends, rather than just be enemies, but I guess communities knows this and makes sure it works smoothly…
I hopes to live in such a great community one day, when I can get my Starscapes going, and perhaps, find a great lady to raise a family with. Oh well. No worries.